I think it was my 13th birthday. We were having dinner at County Line in Lubbock ( my favorite place to eat). My mom and dad gave me a pearl and diamond necklace. I loved it. It was beyond special to me and I reserved wearing it for special occasions…. I haven’t thought about this…

When it is 1998 and your mom dies by suicide, you really don’t have much time to think. You definitely don’t have time to thoughtfully consider what you want her obituary to say. You go along with the standard because anything more would leave you paralyzed and unable to take a step forward. The guilt,…

Ever since my mom killed herself the day after my 19 birthday in 1998, my birthday has been complicated. I go from wanting to fully embrace the day to hide under a rock. I anticipate the conflicting emotions each year and no matter how much I prepare, I struggle. As much as I try to…

Over a month ago I was looking through pictures and one of our 8-year-old son stuck out to me. I must admit at the time, I was exhausted. This year has hit me to my core. I was weary, tired, and emotionally spent. When I saw this picture I immediately was renewed with hope. The…

23 years ago I was almost 8 months into the journey of loosing my mom to suicide. If I am honest, I don’t really remember much from that year. I remember going to class and hanging out with friends. I remember my dad trying his hardest to continue traditions. You can say I was surviving……

Friday afternoon, it was official that the person I have worked under for over two years is leaving. The news came right as I was leaving to pick up K from after school care. I had tears streaming down my face as I drove to the school… but as he got into the car I…

Tomorrow will be 1,051,200 minutes since I was hired in my current positon as Director of Behavioral Health Services at Round Rock ISD. The day my hire was official I posted a blog about the journey to get to this point in my life… little did I know what was awaiting my journey. Two months…

Complicated grief… a phrase I have heard for years… especially as a counselor… yet I never really understood it until the last few months… until I started to live complicated grief. If I am honest, I thought by my mom dying by suicide it made it complicated, and it did, yet it got even more…

Every Christmas I can remember, there has always been this one special ornament. It is not the most expensive. It is not the prettiest. It is not the biggest… yet the message it holds is bigger than the tree. This ornament is a small green stocking with red and white accents. This stocking has been…

This last week we spent the holiday at a wonderful lake house my sister found. We knew we needed to do something different since my stepmom’s death is so recent and my dad’s heart is completely broken. Our decision of what to do was made for us when Keaton said he wanted Papa to take…

It is ironic that almost a month ago I blogged about being guarded and crumbling… I was to a point where I couldn’t help but acknowledge I was at a breaking point… I was being forced to realize we all have limits and I am not immuned. Little did I know in 3.5 days I…

So the last few weeks I have been binging Chicago Med. Somehow in the midst of having a baby, buying a new house and a new job, I missed it was a show. From the first episode I really enjoyed it and felt drawn to the psychiatrist, Dr. Charles. It wasn’t until the second season…

Updated September 19, 2022 Did you know September 1st starts Suicide Prevention Month? Did you know September 5-11 is National Suicide Prevention Week? Did you know September 10th is National Suicide Prevention Day? Don’t feel bad if you didn’t. Suicide is not a topic we rush to discuss. In our effort to avoid the topic,…

August 22, 2021…. exactly 23 years since my mom died. August 21, 2021, is the celebration of my 42nd year of life. As much as I try to ignore this pull of emotions… a pull of celebration and grief that has haunted me for 23 years… A friend through twitter and AFSP.org mentioned how grief…

What do you want to do be? This question that is asked more than any other from the time we can talk. Well meaning parents, teachers, and friends in an effort to get kids, teenagers, college students to talk ask what they want to be. Since the time I can remember my dad, who is…

Dear Public School Parent (and community), Part 2, Almost a year ago I wrote a blog titled “Dear Public School Parent.” It came out of heartache and frustration of seeing public educators having to hold the weight of society on their shoulders… and while I think we all hoped we would not be here again……

A few months ago I was invited to a meeting with the sole purpose of listening to student voice. The topic was mental health during the pandemic. A group of high schools students shared their perspectives with a group of adults. That night I left cut to the heart. Their truth was a reality check.…

When my mom died on August 22, 1998 she was 44… so she will forever be 44 to us. This year the Overnight Walk for American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is once again virtual. I have previously blogged on why this event each year is so important, sacred to me. This year is my seventh…

May is Mental Health Awareness Month…. a month I am wildly passionate about… it is a month to promote mental health… a month to reduce the stigma… a month that others who rarely talk on the subject, take notice. May is the month when we celebrate Mother’s Day… a day of joy and celebration… a…

Keaton is playing lacrosse this spring. I have been beyond excited to see not only him working hard, but also the way Matthew is coaching him and his team. Every game their team (the mighty Round Rock Rattlers) has not only been outnumbered, but often are smaller in stature. It has been amazing to see…