We are coming back from an unbelievable 11 days of family vacation, yet my heart is aching. We spent time in Key West, Bahamas, and the Washington DC area and made memories for a lifetime, yet my heart aches in a deep and almost unexplainable way. I saw my two year-old son experiencing so many amazing adventures many never even experience in a lifetime yet my mind is focused on so much pain, hurt, and violence, in our society.
Part of our epic family vacation took us on a Disney Cruise for three nights. As the time approached for us to board, my son was not the only one giddy with excitement. I struggled to contain my pure joy of experiencing the Disney “magic.” From the time we boarded to the time we left, our time was filled with memories, fantasies, and happiness. Each day I was reminded of the joy of being a child and how I was in need of the vacation more than my son. I needed to be isolated on a ship captained by a big mouse along with his friends of ducks, dogs, and few chipmunks.
The last night of our magical cruise we went to see a short musical titled “Believe.” It was a wonderful performance containing many songs from my childhood with my favorite coming with a number from Mary Poppins. The “lesson” of the story was that we all need to believe in “magic”. I am not talking about the magic of sorcery, but a childlike magic… A magic where mice talk, children fly because of a dash of pixie dust, and all our dreams are a reality. I was caught off guard as tears swelled in my eyes during the end. I felt silly crying at a short Disney musical. Why was I crying? Why was I touched? Why did I care so much about the magic of pixie dust?
Today as tears swelled in my eyes and I looked at the faces of those killed in senseless violence over the last week, I understood more why I cried at the musical. As I watched a city close to home, Dallas, be hit to the core, I struggled to find how to love louder. As I read comments on Facebook and Twitter from my friends after they once again saw two people senselessly murdered, I had no words to explain the quivering of my heart. It was today that I realized we all need to believe in the magic of pixie dust. We all must believe in the “magic” of the power of love united.
When I was little I waited for a fairy to come in the dark as a small green light to sprinkle pixie dust on my head so my wishes would come true, I now realize, we are all that small green light. It is all of our responsibilities to sprinkle love to each we see. I don’t know why senseless violence happens. I don’t know why some are judged for their skin color. I don’t know why those who are to protect us are randomly targeted. I don’t know why some choose hate…. But I have to believe, my ability to sprinkle my pixie dust in the form of loving louder will make a difference. This is the “magic” I must believe. This is the reason I cried that last night on the ship. I refuse to stop believing and I refuse to stop sharing the love in my heart.
Amy Bigbee Grosso, PhD 