Each year, I welcome September with a mix of relief and hope. After the weight of August, September feels like a reminder that the importance of suicide prevention is finally brought into focus more than at any other time of year.

It wasn’t long ago that suicide was rarely spoken about, and even today, the conversation still isn’t happening at the level it needs to. I’ll never forget my mom’s viewing in 1998, when silence filled the room and no one seemed to know what to say. I didn’t know how to answer their questions either. My sister later shared that one of my mom’s old friends had asked if she had been sick for a long time. My sister simply said, “yes.” It wasn’t exactly untrue, because in hindsight, we had seen signs that my mom was struggling for years. We just didn’t understand what those signs meant until it was too late.

That’s one of the most painful truths about suicide, even now. People can extend compassion and empathy after a death, but often, it stops there. Judgment sneaks in… sometimes quietly, sometimes out loud. Questions arise: “How could they not have known?” or “What kind of person doesn’t see their loved one struggling?” or even “What kind of relationship did they have if they didn’t notice?”

I wish suicide were that simple. It isn’t. Suicide is profoundly complex, and our minds often resist complexity. It’s easier to judge than to face the truth that understanding, preventing, and responding to suicide is hard.

For years, I carried the weight of believing my mom died because her 19-year-old daughter hadn’t done enough. I blamed myself, convinced I should have noticed more, done more, been more. But I’ve come to understand her death wasn’t about one missed sign or one person’s failure. She died for many reasons. And one truth I hold onto now is this: as a society, we still judge more than we care, and we dismiss when we should be listening.

So this September, I ask you to remember while posting about 988 is important, but what matters even more is reaching out when you see someone isolated. It matters how you speak about those who are different. It matters how you listen to those who are struggling. It matters that you validate what someone is feeling, not what you think they should feel.

Suicide prevention is not only about hotlines or the work of professionals. At its heart, suicide prevention is in the everyday actions of all of us. It’s in how we treat each other, how we accept people for who they are… not who we expect them to be… and how we choose to sit beside those in pain. That’s where real prevention begins.

Please consider doing one of the following to support ongoing suicide prevention work.

• Sign up for an American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Walk in your community
• Buy a LOVE Louder shirt to support suicide prevention efforts and show the world the importance of love
• Support our family walking in the Frederick AFSP walk (Keaton or Matthew)