Fifteen years ago, my Papa passed away. He was my mom’s dad, and for as long as I can remember, I loved him with my whole heart, and his love for my was so pure.

I loved visiting him (and my Mama) and always looked forward to those trips. I’d beg to go stay with them, and my mom would either drive the full two hours or meet him halfway. According to family stories, every time it was time to leave, I’d cry and say, “I want my Papa.”

After my mom passed, our relationship shifted, but my love for him never wavered. When he was hospitalized—first for his heart, then for cancer—I did my best to step in, to be there for him in place of the daughter he had lost. Some might have seen it as an obligation, but for me, those moments became some of my most treasured memories with him.

When he was hospitalized for the last time, I flew straight from North Carolina to New Mexico to be with him. I offered to spend the night so he wouldn’t be alone. That night ended with him being moved to the ICU and me sleeping on the floor—but it was one of the most sacred moments of my life. I got to be there with my Papa, someone who had been such a steady, pivotal presence throughout my entire life, during his final hours.

At his funeral I was moved and spoke these words. Some of the lyrics from the musical Wicked were part of what I shared.

“I have heard it said, that people come into our lives

For a reason, bringing something we must learn

And we are led to those who help us most to grow.

If we let them, and we help them in return

Well I don’t know if I believe that is true

But I know I am who I am today, because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood

Who can say if I have been changed for the better,

because I knew you,

I have been changed for good.”

I’m not sure how many people still remember my Papa, but he lives in my heart just as strongly as he did 15 years ago. I truly believe the world would be a better place if more people lived like he did—letting their actions speak louder than their words, and focusing more on what they do than what they say.

Tonight, I’m remembering my Papa—but even more, I’m remembering how he made me feel. My greatest hope is to make others feel the same way he made me feel: deeply loved, seen, and valued.