Love louder… two little words my sister and I picked years ago, yet I don’t think we fully understood their impact. We picked them as the name of our AFSP walk team for our first overnight walk in 2015. We wanted to show others that we have to love louder than the guilt, shame, and stigma surrounding or mom’s suicide.

I have learned through the years that phrase, love louder, speaks to many in a variety of ways… I know it speaks to me differently as the years go by.

After my last post I was looking at my blog stats… yes that is something that is a real thing. I can see how many people read the different blogs I’ve posted. I never have many…. expect that one blog where I talked about Baylor homecoming and Baylor picked it up and I thought something was wrong because it said I had thousands of viewers… any way as I was looking at my stats I noticed someone had read my blog “Connectedness keeps the light” and in all honesty I had no idea what I had written about on March 28, 2020.

It turns out I wrote of my experience crying about the goodness of humanity in the immediate time after the shutdown from COVID. I talked about seeing a car parade to thank the workers at HEB.

I was at HEB two days ago picking up another order and my mind went back to the blog I had just read. I thought about how in a moment that was filled with unknowns and fear, how much love I felt…. yet this type of love disappeared quickly. Love and compassion were replaced with division and hate. How sad is it that in this little moment I longed for March 28, 2020….

Love louder… I wear my shirt and so do many (ok not lots probably about 20 of us), yet it is amazing how many people love the saying. They don’t know it is for suicide prevention, they only know the words Love Louder. I truly believe the hope for all of us is to love louder. We have to love louder than the negativity, the hate, the division.

I know when I was about to speak a few weeks ago and a great friend showed up in her love louder shirt and another with her button, I felt love in a way I can’t explain.

I don’t know why so many go towards hate, division, judgement… What I do know… love is never the wrong answer and if I can love a little louder, I will love louder.

You can get your love louder shirt to spread the message and support American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: https://www.bonfire.com/love-louder-4/

And remember the lyrics that came to mind as I cried at the goodness in the HEB parking lot almost four years ago:

“We are standing at the crossing where day and night divide. It takes all of your heart to keep the light alive and the darkness seems so endless until the dawn arrives. We’ll hold the spark between us to keep the light alive.”